Immortal Sorrow
by Arquenril
Summary: Something I wrote a while back. Legolas's first experiance dealing with the death of a loved one. More based on the scene from the movie. Please R


"Fly you fools"   
  
Gandalf's final words to the fellowship ran through Legolas's head as he rushed to make his way out of the dangerous mines. His only goal was to keep his companions and himself safe until they reached daylight. It was his job to walk at the front of the mourning fellowship and lead them to the light. Behind him he could hear the occasional sob from one of the hobbits or Gimli, only soon to be persuaded by either of the men of the group to "keep going" and that they must "worry about the dangers ahead, not the grief behind them". Legolas knew it was up to the two men and himself to safely lead them out. Even though Legolas was surprised by how resilient the four hobbits were, he knew that Gandalf had been much dearer to them then the others. Except Aragorn, who was hiding his emotions well, as always. Frodo was also slowing down and Legolas was worried that the blow of troll's weapon may have left more damage then first thought. He even felt some sympathy for the dwarf. Not only had he lost a great leader, but his cousin and an entire community of his friends and family. No matter how uncivilized the dwarves were compared to the elves, Legolas could not comprehend the grief Gimli was experiencing.  
Legolas himself had known no close family who had ever passed away. Being an elf, Legolas had never actually felt the worry that death might be upon him in any moment. Yes, he might be immortal, but not even elves could live with an arrow in their chest or a knife through their throat. For the first time in his life he felt threatened and he was determined to get his friends and himself out of harm's way. As soon as we reach the light, he thought to himself, it will all be over. All the pain will be gone. No more grief. To be honest, Legolas was beginning to feel as depressed as the hobbits.  
Hours passed by when finally a tiny sliver of light managed to meet his eye. With slightly more bounce to his step, he hurried towards the opening. After he scrambled out of the darkness, he turned around expecting to see relief on the faces of his companions. After all, they had just escaped great peril. All the pain was behind them now. But when he turned around all he could see was the same grieved faces as before.   
Stopping dead in his tracks he watched as his friends trudged past him. The only one who seemed to keep his composure was Aragorn. Merry and Pippin were the first two out after him. After taking a few steps in a trance-like silence, Pippin suddenly collapsed to the ground in anguish and began to weep. Merry was quickly by his side comforting his dear friend. All Pippin could manage to utter between sobs was "My fault....fool of a Took...worthless..." as Merry tried in vain to clear the guilt from Pippin's mind. Turning his focus away from the Merry and Pippin, he looked towards the direction where Sam and Frodo had gone.   
For the first time in Legolas's knowledge, Frodo and Sam were not together. Sam was sitting on a stone with his head in his hands sobbing openly. Sam didn't even have the strength to look up above his feet as the grief poured out of him. Frodo on the other hand was slowly making his way away from the fellowship. He was obviously trying to hide his grief to the best of his ability. Legolas was amazed at how strong Frodo was when he noticed a solitary tear roll down the hobbit's cheek.   
He then turned his attention to the remaining members of The Fellowship. Boromir was shaking with rage. Why? Legolas wondered Why would he be mad about this? Shouldn't he be sad, like the others? Looking closer he saw Boromir's eyes. He noticed a slight wetness to them. He looked closer and saw the effort that Boromir was using to hold back the tears. Feeling suddenly guilty for staring, his focus turned to Gimli, who looked to be handling the situation much like Sam. But Gimli had always been so strong, and to see him as a blubbering mess came as a surprise. Now the shock of all the grief got to Legolas. He was beyond words as he looked confusedly around the group.  
Finally his attention turned to Aragorn, who had began to pull everyone to their feet and signaled for Legolas to do the same. He was obviously grieving, but to what extent no one could tell. The amount of sadness, guilt, and frustration around the group was a shock. Without realizing it, Legolas had finally experienced what it meant to lose someone forever. To know that they would never return. To know that their voice would no longer be heard or their face seen again. To know the touch of their reassuring hand would never be felt upon your shoulder again.  
  
As he helped Merry pull the sobbing Pippin to his feet, he became conscious of a strange feeling in his throat. He could still hear Pippin muttering under his breath between sobs, "All my fault...."   
  
Putting his hand on Pippin's shoulder and pulling him into a rough hug, he whispered, "You did your best little one." Pippin looked at him with his eyes full of tears and began to sob again. After he had released Pippin, he felt a wetness on his face. For the first time in his life, Legolas felt a tear run down his cheek. In shock, he turned away from the others as he attempted to regain composure.   
Turning back around he saw the others heading away from the mines. Taking his place at the end of the line, he finally let go of all his pride and let all the grief and confusion pour out. The others were in such a trance themselves that they hardly noticed the sobbing elf behind them. After a few hours of stumbling Legolas felt dry, like he had no more tears left in him. A sudden sense of relief spread over him. Never before did he feel so empty, yet so complete. 


End file.
